Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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