I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
