Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
