Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If that was your dad, he is hot
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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