i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I wish I only lived at night.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
