btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
