HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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