The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Randomize
