After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
