First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
