We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize