Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
