I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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