Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
