u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
we made out on top of his cat.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Someone shattered a urinal.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
