Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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