she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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