One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
