The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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