That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He better not be in your backpack
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
