she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
