I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
