But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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