Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
