my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
