My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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