i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize