I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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