Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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