apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Still dying that you shit outside
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
