i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She's the barista slut.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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