eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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