i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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