I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
