White coat. Heels.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
