Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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