She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
