i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
