I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
