i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
