she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
