the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
