physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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