remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
