I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
