Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
