y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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