Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
