I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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