dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
