I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
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