I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
