I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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