Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize