My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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