everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I need a beard to bite.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
