Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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