So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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