How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
