Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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