they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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