we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
