I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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