Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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