I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
And then my night got REAL pukey
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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