I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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