Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
