I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize