I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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