bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize