We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
50% drunk capacity currently
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
