some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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