Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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