Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
