So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize