I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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