doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
