I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
