I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
