is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
